I wonder when that time will be? Will it be after I see the tiny heart beating on ultrasound or am able to hear the little thump, thump, thump by my home doppler system? Will it be after I see tiny arm and leg buds flailing all about by ultrasound or when I feel those first tiny flutters on the inside? Will I still be worried when I am into the second trimester and my risks of miscarriage are virtually non-existent? Will I worry when the baby skips a day of kicking me so hard that it nearly brings tears to my eyes? Will I still worry when the baby gets SO big that it hardly has any room to move at all? Will I still be worried when I go into labor and somehow believe that there is still no way possible I am going home with a baby? Will I worry every single day after the baby is born because it is no longer safe and sound on the inside? I am sure I will worry the first day of daycare, kindergarten and college. So I guess my question is ... is it really reasonable to be holding out until the day I can stop worrying?
I guess for now I would be pretty happy to just know that things are working as they should be. Joe suggested over the weekend (to try to curb my endless worrying) that I could always take another HPT and that would help because then I would know I am still pregnant. The problem with this is that all it tells me is that there is still HCG in my system ... it doesn't let me know that it is still increasing the way it should. See what I mean? I really would like to be calm about all of this ... one of those pregnant women that just floats through the beginning of her pregnancy with a big ole smile plastered across her face and not a thought more complicated than what color to paint the nursery. I guess this just isn't my nature. I often wonder if I would be less neurotic about all of this if I hadn't had all of the miscarriages. I imagine I would be just as neurotic just without a good reason for being that way. :) My first appointment with the midwives is on November 15th at 2:30 ... I will be nearly 7 weeks at that point. I wonder if they will send me for an ultrasound just to calm me down?
We had a pretty active weekend which was fairly exhausting. I felt a little crampy off and on ... mostly if I got myself into weird positions while cleaning out the ponds. I was also hungry often and ate much. :) By the end of the day my lower abdominal area just felt really tired ... I was happy to just collapse on the sofa after Jaida was in bed. Oh yeah, and why are my pants ALREADY feeling snug around the waist? This scares me a little bit. This might make holding out until I am 20 weeks along (like with Jaida) to tell anyone of the pregnancy pretty difficult. Good thing for winter and loose sweaters and shirts.
My pregnancy calendar says that the nerve development in the baby begins. Also that the blastocyst is officially an embryo as of today.
From Visembryo:
Primitive Pit, Notochordal Canal and Neurenteric Canals
1.0 - 1.5 mm
17-19 days post-ovulation
The embryonic area is now shaped like a pear, and the head region is broader than the tail end.The ectoderm has thickened to form the neural plate. The edges of this plate rise and form a concave area known as the neural groove. This groove is the precursor of the embryo's nervous system and it is one of the first organs to develop.
By stage 8, the blood cells of the embryo are already developed and they begin to form channels along the epithelial cells which form consecutively with the blood cells.
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