Yesterday while at work I get a call from Nancy. Apparently, Jax got pissed at his little friend Dillon and for no apparent reason bit him (fairly viciously). He bit him through his sweatshirt and still left a full ring of teeth marks and broke the skin in a few places ... THROUGH THE SWEATSHIRT, did I mention that part? Nancy admitted that she wasn't watching them that close at the moment since they seemed to be playing well. She heard the screaming and went running.
I was at work so there wasn't much I could actually do other than suggest she put Jax in time-out or remove him from the playroom. It weighed heavy on me all day. I am one of those parents that fully believes when you put your kids into daycare or any situation where they need to learn inter-personal skills at a young age you have to expect a certain amount bonking on the head, hitting, pushing and even biting ... it just goes with the territory. I do realize though that many parents are VERY protective and get a bit riled when their kid is biten or whatever. I guess I am just not one of them. Anyhow, later in the day Nancy calls again. I was not looking forward to her telling me all the horrible things Jax was up to. I picked up the phone anyhow. Apparently, when she went to change Jax's diaper she pulled his onsie up and right there on his back was a nice big bite mark ... no broken skin but a definite bruise left by a small set of chompers.
Is it bad that I feel better knowing that in at least this one instance Jax was likely biting out of retaliation and was not the aggressor?
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2 comments:
Hi Gia, thanks for your comment. Max is 22 months, so very close to the same age as your Jax. He doesn't seem to be teething--I think he's just experiencing emotions too big and complicated for him to express. In the last week, he's bitten because we told him no, he's bitten because he and Dad were being silly together, he's bitten because he was so excited to see me at the end of a day.
I am so, so worried about him biting at daycare. I would feel awful--although what you're saying about being prepared to endure a few bites, clunks on the head, etc., in a daycare setting makes a lot of sense.
We are asking him what he's feeling as we see him getting revved up, hoping that will help: "Max, are you mad? Are you scared? Are you excited?" We're hoping that helping him name what he's feeling will help. And as lousy as I feel about biting him back, he didn't do it again--and in fact, it seemed to be the only thing that made him feel actual remorse all weekend, as opposed to glibly apologizing for something just so he could get back to it.
Oh my Lord, I just noticed that I said Max was 22 months old. Make that 31 months. I swear, my math skills really are that bad.
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